He was ashamed of his father, and would have given anything to deny that he was any part of him. Anything, including that thing he had done back at the abbey, that horrible thing he had done that would doubtless pull his soul asunder at the day of reckoning, if not sooner.
But if it could come close to erasing his father, his soul was a small price to pay.
-----
Helmuth brushed the crumbs of his morning meal from the surface he called a table--a crudely-hewn plank set atop a stack of horse tack he was storing for a trader friend who was away and traveling without need of it for a time. The contents of his meal was typical of his celebratory tradition of delivering a well-broken and trained horse to its owner, but this meal lacked the excitement and congratulatory feel of his other deliveries. This meal was overshadowed by the mystery of his previous days' visitor and the Oldenburg expected soon.
The Oldenburg. He was surely familiar with the animals, but he had not, in his professional life, ever had an opportunity to work with one. His grandfather had one, of course, as most farmers did. Grandfather called her Ungebunden--Unbound, as she displayed a most independent spirit that was no match for an amateur rider.
Once, when Helmuth was a young boy, his brother had paid him a stick of candy to ride Ungebunden around the outside of their grandfather's stable. Just once around, he'd been promised, and the candy was his.
Helmuth took the dare, thinking his brother a fool for giving up a sweet so easily. Why, they both knew they'd been on horseback nearly as soon as they could walk! He had no qualms about going astride this filly for a short jaunt.
But Ungebunden had other ideas for her young rider. No sooner had he called, "H'yah!" than she pranced evenly backward two steps and sprung Helmuth backward and into the air.
He jumped to his feet from the dirt and grass and strode back to the side of the horse and looked her in the eye.
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Merci!